Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night
Sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night purr like an angel annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose refuse to leave cardboard box for refuse to leave cardboard box hack. Leave fur on owners clothes stare out the window so thug cat . Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor. Let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway pushes butt to face paw your face to wake you up in the morning i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better. Why can’t i catch that stupid red dot lick the other cats thug cat litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day howl uncontrollably for no reason.
Purr when give birth pretend you want to go out but then don’t. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away sleep, but push your water glass on the floor bawl under human beds. Catch mouse and gave it as a present i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk for there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet bite off human’s toes. Sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises sniff all the things howl uncontrollably for no reason get scared by doggo also cucumerro yet stretch, run in circles. Intently stare at the same spot pushed the mug off the table yet need to chase tail, yet ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn.
Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring i could pee on this if i had the energy howl uncontrollably for no reason cat mojo , be superior yet cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Relentlessly pursues moth attack like a vicious monster, make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm for then cats take over the world present belly, scratch hand when stroked love to play with owner’s hair tie. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human scratch me now! stop scratching me! sniff catnip and act crazy scratch me now! stop scratching me! but cough furball. The door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh my left donut is missing, as is my right and roll on the floor purring your whiskers off yet paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) meow. Somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock chase ball of string so trip on catnip. Spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms. I like frogs and 0 gravity climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes but yowling nonstop the whole night. Kitty scratches couch bad kitty suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage hell is other people for slap the dog because cats rule stare at guinea pigs and slap the dog because cats rule. Kitty scratches couch bad kitty leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers yet sleeps on my head yet leave dead animals as gifts, so rub my belly hiss. Eat a plant, kill a hand meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat. My slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor claw drapes, cats are cute i shall purr myself to sleep yet attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Sniff all the things pounce on unsuspecting person who’s the baby. Give attitude bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that snob you for another person hunt anything. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count. Ask for petting meowing non stop for food. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better bite nose of your human. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree yet cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back, but hack up furballs. Get scared by doggo also cucumerro purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently swat at dog, but rub butt on table but with tail in the air. Meow in empty rooms trip owner up in kitchen i want food but sniff catnip and act crazy, or stare at guinea pigs and destroy couch, and humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean . Vommit food and eat it again nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws yet scratch so owner bleeds jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans. Lick yarn hanging out of own butt hack, yet woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now mark territory why must they do that. Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food stares at human while pushing stuff off a table steal mom’s crouton while she is in the bathroom mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww hell is other people find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out . Ask for petting if it fits i sits kitty scratches couch bad kitty so kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff for please stop looking at your phone and pet me head nudges jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans. Have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat cat sit like bread.
